Most people want to have their own business but are paralyzed by fear of failure. They can all tell you why they want to have a business — control, wealth, purposeful work. Thousands of books and seminars teach people what kind of business to start, where to start, when to start and how to start. Colleges and universities have entire schools of entrepreneurship to teach students how to start and run a business. There are startup accelerators, angel investors and venture capitalists in every major city, creating an aurora of imminent startup success for those brave enough to venture it.

All of these teachings and temptations relay the context but rarely the subtext of acting on an idea. They seek to allay the fears of failure and reduce the risks of financial loss, but don’t address the heart of the start. Starting the right business is first and foremost an affair of the heart, not an intellectual exercise. As with human relationships, when one falls in love with the right idea, all fears wash away. All things become possible. The right idea is an extension of who one is becoming. The right idea will complete one’s life story. It’s a highly personal thing.

Love does indeed conquer all. The famous saying “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” applies as much to starting and failing with a good business idea, as it does with human relationships. No regrets for good relationships gone awry. They are often the hardest to succeed at. But a good relationship is not always the right relationship. The same is true of a startup idea. A good idea can lead to the right idea.

The reason so many startups fail is because the founders fall fast and hard for the wrong idea. They start a business for the wrong reasons. They invest in the wrong things. They team up with incompatible co-founders. They expect a quick win. The relationship is one-way. It doesn’t give back. Their heart really isn’t in it; they were propelled by the promise of profit and prestige. Most live to regret the venture and quickly scurry back to the haven of a steady paycheck.

A few of these failed entrepreneurs become permanently love-struck. They felt it deeply. They want it again…can’t live without it. They remain undeterred. They have no regrets but live with a profound sense of loss. They were in love with a good idea, but know it wasn’t quite the right idea. The fact it did not work out was simply a prelude to a new and better love to come. They learned valuable life and business lessons. They learned more about themselves than they ever knew. They leaned how to be a true soul mate.

Some temporarily go back to the “working world” to hone their skills and bide their time. They find themselves better at their jobs than they were before they ventured out and failed. The most prized employees among wise employers are those who previously had their own businesses – and loved them. They can appreciate more what it takes for a company to succeed…to have gotten where it is today. Whether they eventually fall in love with another idea and venture out again, or learn to love and stay with the business they joined, they know they never have to settle.

The heart of the start is all about anticipating and crafting the “right” idea. It’s all in the subtext. It’s hidden in the heart and reveals itself slowly. Stay tuned for tips on how to fall in love with the right idea, or craft a good idea into the right idea (for you).

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